Ah fuck! What the hell?  Something bit me or something?  Oh fuck, do we have spiders?  It better be radioactive and give me super powers or something.

Whoa, cheese fries with gravy?  That sounds just crazy enough to work!  Okay, for serious, where do I meet you?  My body is so ready.

Bro, if you are buyin’, I am drinkin’!  Can we get some cheese fries, too?  Hnng that shit is so good.

Uh, kay?  Have fun with that?  Watch out for the magic nose goblins.

Psh, I wish.  Haven’t been drunk in a few weeks.  Last time I even got baked was like a month ago.  G is totally domesticating me.  I guess I should be all fuck the man and fight against oppression or something like that but the cuddles?  Totally worth it.

I do not even know how that is possible, dude.

Nope.  No go.  Sucks.  It’d be pretty rad to have a trigger and just pow! You know?  But also would be sweet to have the opposite?  I guess Viagra counts sorta kinda?  I mean, it worked that one time but I had the worst fucking headache afterwards, Jesus.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh what?

Are you drunk?

Psh, I don’t think balls can really fall off from that.  I’ll just like, go lie down in the bathtub and keep the laptop on the toilet and loop it up.  Can you pass out from coming?  Is that possible? Maybe I should take a pillow in there, too, or something, for my head.